i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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