It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
