somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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