Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
