3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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