she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
