Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I would fuck him just for his dog
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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