He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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