my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize