Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
