Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize