What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
