My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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