Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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