NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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