I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this will be a night to untag.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
