I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ladies don't puke and tell
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
