8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
