My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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