so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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