one might say we're banned from that church
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Pants are for mortals
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
