I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
COCAINE IS GR8
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
