Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
