I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
