On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
