I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
