I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize