people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize