We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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