My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize