Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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