take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
