I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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