I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
