my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
someone owes me an orgasm
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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