K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
