it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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