I need to stop coming to work sober
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize