Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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