I hope mine doesn't look like that
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
