...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
