I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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