I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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