Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
