4 words: hood of his car
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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