dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
