Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
