never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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