Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
