Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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