I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
