Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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