it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
