apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
