Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
