You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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