Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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