dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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