TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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